In many cases, the past is intimidating, and using the past as a map to lead the rest of your life seems absolutely terrifying. In fact, many Christians would argue that the past doesn’t define where you’re going to go. “But what if I told you that being defined by your past does not have to be a bad or scary thing? What if I told you that who you are right this minute has everything to do with who you were days, weeks, months, and even years ago?... Child of God, when you can choose to see your past, present, and future through the filter of Christ, this rocky, winding, pothole-filled road will soon become clear, straight, and paved.”
Kasey then dives into her own story. She grew up in the Bible Belt, each Sunday coming around as yet another duty of going to church and looking the perfect Christian. Throughout her childhood, this ritualistic form of Christianity satisfied her. But into her adolescence, that all changed. When her parents divorced, the five years that followed were filled with the attacks of Satan. Until the age of fifteen, she had maintained the aura that everything was alright, and she still felt the presence of God on her life. But one night she was raped by one of the Christian seniors at her school. From that minute on, she had never felt so far fm God, so alone. It seemed like a “fairy” tale believing in God, something to tell the little kids as you tuck them into bed. She felt like she hadn’t measured up to what God wanted. Her heart became insensitive to God because of bitterness at unanswered questions. She then began to search for that security and satisfaction in things other than God.
Her journey back to God began when she realized that she couldn’t blame others for the wreckage in her life. “For us to truly experience a life worth living, we must take responsibility, not for what has been done to us, but for our reaction that what has been done to us.” Self-pity does nothing but grow bitterness, and when we are bitter, we grow cold and un-feeling in our relationship with God, who is our only help.
Psalm 73:23-26 says “Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You hide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.”
Sometimes the most painful experiences we have in life are caused by other people. “We can’t go back and change those circumstances in our past that have marked us, but God can take those scars and polish then until they are transformed into something beautiful.” God cares for his creation, and is pursuing us even when we don’t know that we need pursuing.
One of the first things that Christians need to do on their journey to overcoming their past is to realize that God loves them. People who have been hurt have a hard time grasping this truth. “We will never be able to fully function while clinging to any pieces of our past. Call on the supernatural power of the Hold Spirit to give you the strength, and believe in the one who doesn’t just understand love but is love.”
I don’t normally quote large passages from the book I am reviewing, but this illustration was amazing! Please bear with me!
Imagine with me for a few moments. Let’s say you’re in the kitchen cutting up some veggies in preparation for the evening meal. The phone rings and startles you, and before your brain has a chance to transmit to your body that you are in pain, your eves tell you that you’ve just cut your finger!
No one is around to help, so you run into the bathroom, turn on the faucet, and allow the fresh water to wash away the blood so you can get a better look. Yep, just as you had assumed, it looks pretty bad.
But wait-you’ve got to finish cooking dinner! You wrap your finger in a towel, apply pressure to stop the bleeding, and return to the kitchen. But as soon as you start stirring the skillet on the stove, a dark spot begins to emerge on the towel. You shuffle frantically through the medicine cabinet for the band aids. You apply one -no, two - band-aids on the cut. Surely this will let you get back to the pressing task of feeding your family. But soon the band-aids are soaked through, and the pain is now causing throbbing in your hand.
Your next attempt is to elevate your hand, wrap the towel around your finger again, and pace around, unsure of what to do next. Your kids are outside playing, your husband has yet to arrive home from work, and tears of pain are now beginning to fill your eyes. Sure, you could go to the doctor, but how silly would you feel if you loaded up your kids and had your hubby meet you at the doctor’s office only for the good doctor to wrap your finger in some gauze and send you right back home? Besides, you're tough-you’re a mom! You can take care of this yourself! You simply must get dinner cooked-the water is boiling over, and the oven is bleeding frantically, telling you that your preheat is complete. This inconvenience will have to wait until later.
You march yourself back into the kitchen, wipe the tears from your eyes, and attempt to pick up the knife once more with your towel wrapped hand. “Ouch!” You drop the knife. The towel is now completely soaked with blood, and the pain is almost unbearable. You know you should lay down your pride, load up the kids, and make your way to the doctor’s office, but you just can’t see taking the time to do that. Besides, if the doctor called for stitches, you'd have to give up your entire evening. If only the Band-Aid would work, you could have dinner on the table in no time.
This scenario might sound crazy, but it’s exactly what we tend to do with the areas of hurt from your past. We walk around, bleeding through our band-aids, waiting for a small piece of plastic to fix what's wrong. Meanwhile, the unending through gets worse instead of better, and still we refuse the stitches needed to bring healing. The cut is much deeper than we ever realized- and deeper than we would admit to anyone, ourselves included. The treatment for the wounds of our past may be inconvenient and even painful, but we will never truly heal unless we present out hurt to the Lord and trust him to do his work.
The first step toward healing is to admit how your hurt has affected you. Although God knows where you are in your pain, he wants you to acknowledge it. “God wants all of you – your pain included.” Secondly, you have to realize that Christ understands every part of your pain. No one on earth can say that they fully understand your hurt – but God does! Next, you have to trust that God will make right the wrongs that have been done to you; keeping the need for revenge bottled up inside of you will only result in a growing root of bitterness that affects your relationship with God. Is what that other person did to you worth destroying your walk with God? Fourthly, you need to love your enemy despite what has happened. “The genuine love he [God] is talking about is an act of the will…. Without love, we are incapable of channeling the supernatural power of God’s Spirit within us.” Next, you need to give forgiveness to those that have hurt you. “Forgiveness means releasing the other person from the clutches of your thoughts and feelings.” Finally, you have to ask the Lord for power to love and forgive those that have done wrong toward you. To forgive someone who has deeply affected and hurt you requires the love and forgiveness of the Divine One; no determination you have could ever muster would ever be enough. But this is the way to healing and moving on in your relationship with God.
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